also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
