YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
this boner is exhausting
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
