I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It's shark week go big or go home
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
