are you so shy because you have an std?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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