Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
