Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
