wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
