We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
