we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
