i just google imaged poop.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
