You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
