No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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