I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You were trust falling into bushes
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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