she woke up with a sticky ear
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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