Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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