she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
