he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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