he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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