Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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