I love black thongs
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
