I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
