There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
