yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
