we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
