I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Someone shit on the floor
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
