i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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