i jhust puked up my retainher.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It's just like the Real World with babies
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
