Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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