He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
