Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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