It's Friday. Sex?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
