Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
well I can't set my house on fire every night
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
