Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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