This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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