sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
