just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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