i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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