All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
