u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
