Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
