I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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