we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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