Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
