She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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