i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
