Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
