i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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