I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
