Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
