Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
this boner is exhausting
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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