sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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