literally had 100 drinks last night.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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