Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
