another moral hangover. fuck.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
