I love black thongs
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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