two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
