Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Let's paint friendship bongs
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
