i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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