Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Non-Jews are for practice
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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