ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
There's always time for handjobs
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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