i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
