Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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