Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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