the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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